


Oh My God

by revebaby



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Churches & Cathedrals, F/F, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:35:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23563900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revebaby/pseuds/revebaby
Summary: Shuhua is in love with her best friend and she shouldn't be.Can she be blamed, though, when Soojin is sweet like honey and warmer than the flames of Hell?(Based on (G)I-DLE's Oh My God)
Relationships: Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua
Comments: 21
Kudos: 245





	Oh My God

**Author's Note:**

> i dont really stan idle, but i like their music a lot and their new album is really good and it inspired me so i wanted to write a lil smth about it. this is only gonna be a short oneshot bc i don't know the members' personalities very well thanks for reading anyway :)

_Nothing can pull me away from your embrace_

_I'm not going anywhere_

_Here we go again, I hear the sound of pain_

_Flowing slowly through my veins_

_Oh God_

The biggest sins don’t feel like sins.

_She,_ the biggest sin of all, doesn’t feel like a sin. She feels like an angel on Earth.

Her name is Seo Soojin. She sings in the choir at church. She’s the epitome of a perfect daughter. She’s one of the smartest in their year, she does gymnastics and cheerleading, and she’s inordinately good at them, she’s beautiful but she’s always dressed to downplay it, she’s respectful and friendly to adults and children alike, she has taken part in nearly every single church activity since birth. She’s the kind of child religious parents pray they’ll have.

Except for one thing.

She’s singing in the choir this Sunday evening. Shuhua can barely make her out from the back row where she sits with her family, but she’s all she can focus on.

Soojin’s looking too. With eyes that shine so respectfully one minute and so sinfully the next, the minute they land on Shuhua’s face in the crowd.

And Shuhua, who knows she _should_ look away, doesn’t look away. Soojin smiles at her, and even though she feels her chest constrict like the church dress her mother bought has suddenly shrunk two sizes, she smiles back. Soojin looks away eventually, but her eyes linger one second too long.

Shuhua, coming out of the trance Soojin puts her in as if she just woke up from a nightmare, quickly glances to both sides of her bench to see if anybody noticed. They rarely do. Who would expect that of Seo Soojin? Nobody. Nobody in the world. Shuhua likes to think she knows Soojin past the facade she puts on, even if she’s different every single time they meet.

Then something happens in the middle of the choir. Somebody falls onto their hands and knees. Shuhua only realizes it’s Soojin because, a) her eyes rarely leave the girl, and b) she knows Soojin often feels light-headed while singing. God’s way of grounding her, her parents like to joke, even though Soojin fakes it most of the time.

Soojin’s parents who sit on the very first bench help her to her feet and rush her down the middle of the room. Soojin remains with her head hung, the hair that’s normally brushed to perfection hiding her face. Shuhua often wonders how long Soojin has been lying to be this good at it.

They stop at the very last bench. Her mother makes a little gesture with her hands as if to get somebody’s attention.

‘Shuhua, dear,’ she hisses. ‘Would you mind taking your friend outside for a little while? She needs some fresh air.’

Shuhua’s mother gives her a look because, with the children, the wealth, the careers and the influence they have, the Seo family are people to impress. Everybody wants to be like them. Do not judge or you too will be judged, but Shuhua thinks maybe if they paid less attention to their image, they’d see who their daughter actually is.

She finds her way through their row, lets Soojin’s mother place Soojin’s arms over her shoulders like the girl is a puppet. 

Making their way to the open wooden doors at the entrance of the church, Soojin’s arm subtly moves to Shuhua’s waist and stays there with a grip like an iron vice, similar to the grip she has on Shuhua’s heart.

Unsurprisingly, Soojin is suddenly all better by the time they reach the little adjoined garden near the church where nobody inside can see them.

Sitting Soojin down on the bench, Shuhua says, ‘You shouldn’t lie, you know. It’s against God.’

‘God doesn’t have to know.’

‘But he does. He’s everywhere.’

Soojin smiles a little patronisingly as she grabs Shuhua’s forearm and pulls her next to her on the bench. Shuhua lets her, even if she shoots a glance to the parking lot to make sure it’s empty.

‘You looked strange earlier,’ she says. ‘Afraid.’

‘Well, yeah, my family were there.’

Soojin nods slowly like she understands but doesn’t appreciate the fact. ‘I wanted to see you.’

‘You were seeing me.’

‘You know what I mean. Alone.’

Most of what they do is alone. Friends shouldn’t mind being in public with each other, but they’re a different kind of friends. A strange kind.

Looking at Soojin’s thigh which is laid so close to her own they might as well be some three-legged demon creature, Shuhua feels something heavy inside her. But even so, there’s the warmth of Soojin’s skin even in the cold night air that keeps her high.

Although she knows she should move away, she doesn’t.

‘Your mother didn’t seem very freaked,’ she comments before she catches herself. She’s never been as careful with her words as Soojin is. ‘Uh, not that I’m trying to judge.’

‘Why would she be? It happens all the time.’ Soojin leans her head against the back of the bench, exposing a lot of pristine, unmarked neck. Shuhua swallows. Trying not to look, she lays her head down next to Soojin’s.

‘Don’t they make you angry, showing you off all the time like that?’

‘Not really.’

‘They talk about you like you’re an object.’

‘No, they don’t.’

‘They do. Like you’re their property.’

‘Do you know any constellations, Shuhua?’

‘What?’

‘Do you know any constellations?’

Soojin does this a lot. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, then it won’t be talked about. She’s always been that way. Shuhua doesn’t say anything about it. Maybe she should. 

She doesn’t.

‘I don’t know the name, but there’s that one shaped like a spoon.’

‘The big dipper.’ Soojin lifts her hand, traces a line of stars in the darkness of the sky. ‘Then above it, you can see the little dipper.’

‘Oh.’

‘Then this,’ she says, her index finger doing a zigzag motion, ‘is Cassiopeia. And the triangle one next to it is Camelopardalis.’

‘Where?’

‘There. Kind of above it.’

‘I don’t see it.’

Soojin huffs, but there’s a faint, fond smile on her face. She grabs one of Shuhua’s hands with her own, draws three sharp lines of stars, but Shuhua isn’t focusing on them anymore. Soojin’s skin is warm but it threatens to burn her.

‘Where did you learn all this?’ Shuhua asks breathlessly.

Soojin turns around in her seat, her eyes gleaming and her hair messy at the back. Displayed against the night sky, she’s something other than this world. An angel maybe. Or a devil.

‘Physics,’ she mutters. ‘You were there.’

‘Oh.’

With a chuckle, their hands drop to Soojin’s lap, but she doesn’t let go. She brings their entwined hands to her lips and places a kiss atop Shuhua’s knuckles, soft but burning hot.

‘You shouldn’t do that,’ is all she can get out, even if it’s just a mumble.

‘I know, but I want to.’ Soojin exhales and the heat of her breath spreads onto Shuhua’s skin. ‘Tell me not to. Tell me not to and I won’t.’

Even though she knows she should, she doesn’t. When Soojin moves closer, she doesn’t say no. 

Even when Soojin presses her lips to Shuhua’s with deadly craving, one hand on her thigh, she still doesn’t say no, doesn’t push her away. 

In the back of her mind, she muses how she’s doing the exact thing people preach against just beyond the walls behind her, and her chest gets a little tighter like she doesn’t know how to breathe, but she still doesn’t pull away.

That’s how they remain for the rest of the night. It might be a few seconds or an hour. Shuhua doesn’t know and she doesn’t care.

If Soojin is that dangerous, then why doesn’t it feel like it?

And if Shuhua knows this, why doesn’t she say anything?

And even when a car in the parking lot makes a noise as it’s unlocked and Soojin breaks apart from Shuhua like _she’s_ the one who burns and walks off toward the parking lot without so much as a goodbye, Shuhua still doesn’t think she wants to say goodbye to her just yet, sinful as she may be. Sin or not, her poison tastes like honey and that’s the only thing Shuhua can pay attention to. She’s already addicted and she’s burning down with love.

(She prays all night though. Not for herself, but that God will find the mercy to help Soojin, who seems to have lost her way in the world. Shuhua? She’s too far gone already.)

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!!  
> ive just made a twt acc to use for my fics so id appreciate if you followed and kept up to date w my works!! follow here: @revebabying


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